Forbidden Fruit(s)...

Hi! You have reached our cast quotes page, filled with funny, stupid, or just plain weird things we've (or people around us) been known to say. If you have a quote you'd like to see here, please e-mail . These are listed as I receive them. Yes, most of them are spoken by me. I'm a retard. Some of these, you just kind of had to be there. ^_^ A lot of them sound dirty, but weren't. Most of them I won't even deign to put what REALLY happened to make it sound undirty.

Jenni- "Yeah, you know that bit about the thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters? Shove those up your ass."
Jenni- "I can't get the short thick one out from between my legs and I want to use the long thin one."
Jenni- "I just sat on my own buttcheek."
Kelley- *Kelley eating salad* Rachel: Where is my salad? *Kelley takes another bite... Looks up* "I thought it came with the beer!"
Rachel- "Doesn't it hit the water?"
Art- "Wait, I got a text message."
Lady At Airport- "Are you guys gay?"
Art- (After lady @ Airport) "No, we're Shriners."
Art- "I met jenni at the fake orgasm contest"
Lindsey & Jenni- "Whoregasm!"
Ember and Jessica- "If you do it they will come."
Kelley- "I touched Steven Tyler's leg... he's lucky I have short arms."
Jenni- "Jenni is NOT mounting ANYTHING else EVER AGAIN!" (Everyone laughed. I don't know why.)
Kelley- "Ramen tastes like poverty."
Asrah- "I've stayed an hour past my bra's limit."
Group-
Kelley- "I have glow in the dark silly putty somewhere and can't find it.
John & Rachel- "Turn the light off."
Kelley- "I hate it when people throw out their cigarette butts of their car windows, I see the sparks shoot up and think the road's exploding."
Kelley- "Lemme guess, your favorite game is pole launcher?" (talking to a gayboi)
Angee- "I've never been in a chick orgy before!"
Kiki- "This is too hot for cheese."
Jenni- "You shouldn't have to bite yourself to get into it."
Albert- "Grabbing is cheesy, cupping is hot."
Ember- "I want tit."
Jenn- "You're riding Matt's cock, how hard can it be?"
Jenni"The indians were just like the egyptians with out the stones."
Kiki- "Child Hookers are way better than crack."
John- "I always miss the glowing tits."
Jenni- "Who puts a cookie on a bazooka?"
Jenni- "That's like locking the barn door after the horse has been stolen." (sluts and condoms)
Asrah- "Every bible comes with a .22." (Covenant transport/amunitions)
Jenni/Asrah- (Jenni)"Is that BEER?" (Asrah) "It's an arc welder, hon. It's a lot like beer, only completely different."
Asrah- "I'll never sleep with a virgin because it's too much hard."
Jenni- "I'm fat because I have too many nuts in me."
Kiki's Troy- "It's the Dollar Forest." (refering to the Dollar Tree Headquarters.)
JLD Dallas Goers- "Dim off and go HOV yourself."
Jenni- "I can mount him just fine, I just couldn't get off!"
Matt- "I forgot my penis was above my legs."
Kelley- (cheering up Jenni) "You want a taco?"
Asrah- "Mountains don't get good internet"
Kiki- "Licked his lips and said yum." (About Jenni's computer)
JLD offspring- "Mom, can we go experience the hole?" (referring to a gopher hole, I believe)
Jenni- "John, you have more cunt than my pants."
Jenni- "Kliss my Clit."
Jenni- "Come on crazy, be Albert with me!"
Mike P- "And that, class, is how World War Three started."
Ken- "Pickles are more Saturday, trials are more Monday through Friday"
Rachel- "He wanted a back against his wall."
Albert- "Plaidrock"
Jenni- "I have 90 billion tits."
Chad- "Nothing as sterile as a gay man's ass"
Rachel- "Have you tapped all the guests yet?"
Jenni- "Anime kids at a taco bar? Lettuce in the AIR!"
Larry/Jenni-
Larry (A regular at The OtherSide, where we go do Karaoke Wednesday nights) "I'm innocent, see my halo?"
Jenni- "Cock rings don't count."
Albert/Rae/Kiki- Albert- "My other ride is your mom."
Rae- "Don't tell my children that."
Kiki- "I think they know."
Jenni- "My my my my my my my my my--- tits."
John- (about the cat being behind Jenni) She had a pussy attack her from behind.
Jenni- Please don't milk me.
Jenni- I'm not 40 up here because I'm not a man.
Jenni- I try to wear underwear to suck my butt in.
Ken- (to Ember) Not yet, I'm in a meeting.
John- (about Jenni) Her clitoris fits into every conversation.
Jenni- (to Steve) Your butt is dripping on my head.
Tom from Quik Cash- (Albert's co-worker) I'm taking a risk putting it in my hand, let alone my mouth.
Jenni & Albert-
Jenni- Can I have $2,194.22?
Albert- No. Why?
Jenni- I figured out that's how much money it would take to fill a kiddie pool full of pudding.
Jenni- The Justice League: There are no bad gangs here, the only gangs here are gangs of gay people!!
Chad & Jenni-
Chad- "If a stripper ever pisses you off, tip them with change."
Jenni- "Maybe that's why Someone's friend tasted like pennies??
Jenni & Ashlee-
Jenni- "My hoo-hoo feels funny."
Ashlee- "...mine does too... I think I have to pee!"
Chad- "Aw Hell NO! Don't you bark at me and then beg for my WENDY'S! Bitch!"
Steve & Jenni-
Steve- "Finish it!"
Jenni- "I'm sucking as hard as I can!"
Steve- (On several occasions) "What?... WHAT???"
Jenni- "Shitfire!"
Ember- "I'm totally okay with glitter come."
Ashlee- "It's an arguement about an orgy, my favorite kind!"